


I still have you.

by jewels_dc



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, I Made Myself Cry, Sad, just sad, side jiyoo, sorry i was sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewels_dc/pseuds/jewels_dc
Summary: Minji feels stuck in her life. Yubin feels nothing at all.
Relationships: Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Yubin | Dami
Comments: 13
Kudos: 51





	I still have you.

The light peeped through the blinds filling the bedroom with soft stripes of light. The morning felt like any other except for an absence she immediately felt. Minji looked up at the empty side of the bed, surprised at how barren it looked, untouched. Yubin was normally there, waiting for her to wake, a gentle smile on her face. She must be watching tv, or perhaps reading that new book she had been talking about last night, bathed in the light of the bay window. She was a sight to behold on those mornings. 

The thought of seeing her like that urged Minji out of bed. It was earlier than she would normally get up, but she felt suddenly lonely. She padded into the living room, her eyes shifting as the light changed. She looked straight at the window, sad to see it empty. Maybe she went on one of her morning walks.

She didn’t notice the small form curled up at the table until it moved, making her jump back, her heart jumping involuntarily.

“Shit. You scared me.” Minji says, breathing deeply, trying to slow her heart rate.

“Boo.” A small smirk appears on her upturned lips. She is sitting at the table just outside their tiny kitchen, another one of her usual haunts. A dictionary lays on the table in front of her opened to the P’s. Sometimes Yubin would memorize all the words on a single page of the dictionary, saying them over and over until they were cemented in her brain. She’d bring them out in conversation sometimes, letting them roll out of her mouth like she was trying them on for size. Her favorite one recently, prestidigitation, a rather clunky word for magic trick.

“Funny.” Minji says her expression clearly showing she didn’t appreciate the joke,“What are you up to?”

“Contemplating my existence.” Yubin's easy smile is always a welcome sight.

“Isn't it a bit early to be so metaphysical?” Minji crosses to the kitchen, her sock feet making no sound on the cold floor.

“Never too early to examine the concept of self.” The small woman says quietly. She had always been the pensive type. One who would rather observe, rather than be observed. 

“Fathoming one’s purpose without caffeine seems masochistic,” Minji says, taking out the pod that was left in the machine from the last time. Yubin said it was terribly bad for the environment, but Minji just kept buying them. Yubin didn’t drink the coffee anyway.

“What are you up to today?” Yubin asks as she moves over to the bay window, passing by Minji close enough to smell her delicate scent if there was one to smell. Whenever she was near, Minji couldn’t think straight, she longed to reach out and touch her. But she knew she couldn’t.

“Yoohyeon is coming over,” the answer floats in the air, like a feather drifting lazily. Until Yubin’s expression sours. She knows why she’s always there, she knows exactly what she’s doing.

“That's the third time this week.” Yubin says, her voice giving away the distrust that lays underneath the surface.

“What are you? Jealous?” Minji means it as a joke, but the look that crosses Yubin’s delicate features told her it wasn’t taken as one. Yubin turns from her facing out the window, hiding her face from view.

“Yes. Of course I am.” Yubin stated her tone serious. It punctures her. Like she’s a balloon pricked by a pin. She deflates instantly at her words. She wonders again what deity she pissed off in a past life. What vengeful god had cursed her to this existence?

“If you want me to move on… Why are you still here?” Minji finally spoke again, her voice brittle.

“You tell me.” Yubin shrugs, a non-committal answer that makes Minji want to scream and cry all at once.

Instead of answering, Minji walks over and flips the page on the book that sits in front of Yubin in the window seat. Yubin sighs, pulling her knees up to her chin, letting silence fall between them as she begins to read again.

—

Yoohyeon brings over movies again. She had been doing so for a while now. She breezes in and brightens her days, then breezes right out again. It’s how Minji liked it. A brief respite from the darkness that filled her. She could laugh and smile and be the old Minji for once, but she didn’t have to commit to being her full time. She wasn’t ready for that.

She knew Yoohyeon liked her. She could tell. In another life she would like her right back. But in this life there was a Yubin shaped impression on Minji’s heart. In a world without Yubin, Minji would be a sinking ship.

Yubin was mostly absent for these days, spending her time out doing whatever it was she did with her time. But sometimes she would observe, quiet as a church mouse, perched in her spot in the bay window, book laid flat on the seat in front of her.

Yoohyeon had been her friend first. They were best friends. But now they had a forced distance between them, and an impenetrable barrier keeping the lifelong friends apart.

Yoohyeon’s high pitched laughter brought her out of her wondering. Not for the first time Minji caught Yoohyeon’s eyes lingering on her.

If Yoohyeon was braver perhaps everything would have been easier. Yubin had divulged one night after too many glasses of wine that Yoohyeon had tried to call dibs on Minji that first day when they all met at the farmer’s market. She had seen Minji from afar, and called dibs. Yubin had tried to force her to go say hello, but in the end, Yoohyeon chickened out. Minji approached Yubin that same day, and the rest was history. Perhaps Minji had called dibs on Yubin.

“I can change the movie? Or we could play a board game?” Yoohyeon looks at her and she immediately feels guilty. She is filled with concern and something else. Minji knows she is playing with fire, she could potentially lose even more than she already had.

“No it’s fine. I’m just stuck in my head.” Minji lies so easily now. 

“About Yubin?”

Minji winced at the name. Yoohyeon usually didn’t mention Yubin. It was a huge glaring red flag in their relationship. Yubin. The woman she loved with every fiber of her being, even now.

“Sorry.”

Minji sees it in her eyes. The want. She thinks it's the only thing left for her. People want something they can't have. Yubin, Yoohyeon, both wanting her, but unable to truly grasp her. 

Minji leans forward closing the small gap between them. She needs to be touched. She needed to feel the warmth of another person’s skin on hers. Yoohyeon's lips parted, letting her enter, letting her feel the warmth within. She feels her hands go to her hair, entangling there, making her shiver. She could love Yoohyeon, she thinks. Maybe part of her already did. 

She sees Yubin appear a half second before the book she had been reading slowly all day, the one Minji meticulously flipped the pages on every few minutes, clattered to the floor, startling both women. 

“NOT HER!” Yubin rages as she glares daggers at her, her line obviously being crossed.

Yoohyeon’s wild eyes searched for the source of the noise, finally settling on the book at Yubin’s feet. 

“Minji… what was that?” Her eyes glaze over, noticing Minji’s eyes filling with fat sloppy tears.

“I have to tell you something.” Minji says, determined to get this out before she loses control. She keeps one eye on Yoohyeon, and the other on Yubin’s angry face. 

“Don’t. You promised.” Yubin’s face morphs from anger to fear. Minji knows what is at stake, but she needs someone to know. She needed someone to hear her.

Yoohyeon’s eyes dart back to Minji’s face, confused as to why Minji was suddenly so emotional. 

_Why did she keep staring over at the empty window?_

“Yubin’s still here.” Minji feels the words drop out of her mouth, like lead weights.

“What do you mean?” Yoohyeon says, pulling away, like the words would burn her. 

“I-I can see her… That was her… the book.”

“I don’t get it… Yubin’s been dead for a year.” Yoohyeon’s confusion gives way to another emotion, crushing grief and guilt.

“I can’t explain it… I see her… I see her everyday. She’s with me every second of every day. She’s here now.” She hates the pleading in her voice, hates that she looks and sounds deranged.

“This is not going to end well for you Minji.” Yubin says burying her face in her hands.

“Why are you doing this?” Yoohyeon’s voice is loud, louder than Minji had ever heard it before. She stands up, standing over Minji, her jaw set in a hard line. “I loved her too Minji. She was my best friend… she was like my sister… How could you….” 

“I see her. Shes here”

“SHE’S GONE.” Minji shrinks away from the tall girl, feeling her slip away. Yoohyeon crossed to the door, grabbing her stuff on the way, leaving Minji and Yubin in her angry wake. “I like you Minji. I really like you. But get some help.”

“Wait Yoohyeon. It’s true.” Minji yells this. She didn’t mean to yell, but she was so scared to be left alone. Yubin was right. She knew Yoohyeon couldn’t handle it. She had known that she would react exactly like this. She didn’t even look back as she slammed the door shut behind her.

“Yoohyeon…” Yubin said feebly, knowing she couldn’t hear her. No one could hear her. She let out an exasperated scream. Long and drawn out. All of her frustration going into that one noise, a noise only Minji could hear.

“I told you so.” Yubin says, all the anger seeping out of her. She sits soundlessly down on the couch next to Minji, a constant tingling on the back of her neck the only indication she’s there.

“Not now.”

“I told you Yoohyeon was off limits…” Minji knew this. This was a hard line in the sand for her. Protecting her best friend from the mess of her life.

“I just needed to be touched.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Yubin's expression is pained as she places her delicate hand on hers, and Minji can imagine how it feels. She remembers how her hands were always icy cold in the winter, how she always forgot her gloves, how she would pack an extra pair just for her. That pair still living in her purse, a constant reminder of what they lost. Touch. The most important of all the senses. “You’ll get it right again. You can find it again.”

“I still have it.” Minji says, her hand going to her cheek, a slight cold prickle on her fingers the only indication of Yubin’s presence.

A sad smile plays at the edges of her face. Her ageless face. She will always be as she was at 23, as Minji ages and grays until she too will pass through the thin veil that keeps her from the love of her life. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” The way Yubin says it has always been so sure. A statement she has never taken lightly. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentines Day, sorry if I made you sad. I was saving this for when Odd Eye hit 20 million on youtube, but I feel like posting it a bit early. Might add backstory to this if I get super sad again, so stay tuned.
> 
> Twitter and CuriousCat are both jiyools_


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